Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
