Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize