I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
do herpes really smell.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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