I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
