i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
