Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
she pinky promised me she was 18
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
