her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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