a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
