Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
