I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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