I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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