Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
