Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
