i think my mom watched the whole time
Do vagina's smell?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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