Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
