he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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