I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
nutella sex= disaster
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
