she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
