So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
