you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
