I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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