from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
