were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
