yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
