Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
