And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
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