I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize