I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
