You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
