holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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