Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
