Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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