Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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