Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
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