Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
