We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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