how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
