she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
