how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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