never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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