My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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