you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
