No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
