do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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