Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
So I just went to clothing optional bar
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
