if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
whose parrot is this?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
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