There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
We're too hungover to prance.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
