The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
