Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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