hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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