yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
