nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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