I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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