You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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