Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Porn is love you can see.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
