i just wanna soil my oats bro
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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