Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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