so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
