Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
