I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
