I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
